Reacting to Your Child's Sin (Part 3)

Rob Wilkerson concludes explaining that a gentle yet firm manner of reacting to your child's sin is necessary in gospel-centered parenting...

This manner doesn't let sin escape either our notice or theirs. It firmly makes as much of the sin as God does (describing in biblical terminology so they can know exactly what God calls it and thinks about it). But it also gently applies the divine remedy to the wounded or hardened conscience, hopefully either healing it or breaking it.

This mannner firmly yet gently takes the necessary time to explore with the child their heart - the motivations and/or influences provoking their sinful behavior. It uses the Scriptures to identify the sin, call it what it is, and unashamedly point to its consequences both temporally and eternally. Yet this manner also uses Scriptures as a book chock full of stories, stories about how God loved and redeemed His own disobedient children called the nation of Israel.

This manner firmly yet gently discusses God's demands of repentance from that sinful behavior. But it also discusses the necessary and vital role of the Holy Spirit's help in making such repentance a success.

This manner firmly yet gently holds the child - regenerated or not - in a place of accountability, where the child is forced to at least reckon with God's view and solution of their sin, and hopefully bring them willingly to the cross for redemption and/or reminder of the truth of justification.

So in that brief moment between the time your child's sin comes to your attention and the time you actually begin responding, put sinful anger to death. Your child's behavior doesn't need to become driven by your mood. It needs to be driven by an inward desire to please King Jesus. And if necessary, renew your own mind even more with a fresh reading of God's record of redemption in the Scriptures, preparing yourself for your next corrective moment.

But whatever you do, don't ignore it either! Deal with it squarely, face to face, exercising the privilege and responsibility God has given you to rear your child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. If you've ignored it before because it's too much of an inconvenience to you, put your convenience to death. Peacemaking is never convenient. Ask Jesus about that, because He made peace between you and God and it was by no means convenient! And if you've ignored it before because that's what your parents did, then don't be like them. Be like God the Father, and study how He deals with His disobedient children. And finally, that last suggestion applies also to those who have ignored it before because they don't know how to respond.

It's a growth issue, for both you and them. You grow in your responses to them, and they grow in their obedience to you and King Jesus. There's much grace for the journey as both of you walk that sometimes weary and winding road. But be assured that at the end of that road, there is the tangible prize of a child who fills you with joy and makes the Heavenly Father's heart glad.

[Source]: Miscellanies of the Gospel