Reacting to Your Child's Sin (Part 1)

Rob Wilkerson, father of four children, calls our attention to why it's important to have the right reaction when your child sins.  This is a three part series.  We'll first look at two extremes and then focus on the gospel in the middle.

One of the toughest moments in parenting is that brief lapse on the clock between the time my child's disobedience comes to my attention, and the time I begin to respond. What I do in that brief lapse in time can make all the difference in the world as to how I respond to my kid.

The reason it is such a tough moment is because the way I respond will largely shape and mold my child's understanding of sin as well as, most importantly, the gospel.

There are two dangers we have to avoid in formulating a response.

The first is an overreaction, usually manifested in irritation and frustration. You know what I mean, if you're a parent. Depending mostly in your mood at that moment, your frustration and irritation with their sin can fall anywhere on the Richter scale of parenting. Our kids could experience anything between an unfelt tremor in our relationship with them, and a house-destroying, child-abusing massive earthquake of sinful anger and wrath. Most of us don't make it a habit of crossing the 4.0 mark, though some have perhaps gone past 8.0 at one time or another, or perhaps even repeatedly. If so, there is grace, much grace, for such parents.

What happens, if this pattern of responding with irritation, frustration, or moodiness is consistently followed is that we create an environment of performance-oriented behavior in our kids. That is, they'll learn to behave in a way that doesn't make us overreact. And let me tell you, from experience, they learn to play that game. I've watched my kids even ask me sometimes, "Dad are we irritating you?" I feel terrible, because I know that my gospel-less handling of their sin before has largely contributed to such a question.

When we create a performance-oriented atmosphere, or a "don't make mom or dad angry" environment, we set ourselves up in our parenting so as to never get inside their hearts to identify and correct the root problem in their sinful behavior. Overreaction is a sure means of obscuring the gospel from our kids.

Part 2 coming soon - "Underreaction"

[Source]: Miscellanies on the Gospel